


Ache

by insertfandomjoke



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, M/M, Pining, Some angst, sara's in it but she's not shane's gf, she's a Supportive Friend(TM), when hes researching? this is that., you know how in postmortem shane says no one approaches ryan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-25
Updated: 2018-02-25
Packaged: 2019-03-24 00:35:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13799649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/insertfandomjoke/pseuds/insertfandomjoke
Summary: Ryan is everything he can’t have. Shane’s okay with that, for the most part. (He watches Ryan laugh at some stupid joke he made and he isn’t. He isn’t okay with it at all.)-In other words, Ryan is researching for a new case and he's ignoring the world. Shane isn't very happy about this.





	Ache

Shane arrives at BuzzFeed with two coffees in his hand. His smile widens when he sees Ryan at the desk beside his, but then it drops once he realises Ryan’s hunched over and frantically tapping away at his keyboard.

_So it’s one of those days, huh._

Shane can tell that Ryan has been here hours before, even though their shifts start at the same time, and he knows that Ryan will be here long after he leaves.

He gets like this sometimes – often when he’s stressed, which usually involves a new idea for Unsolved. Shane doesn’t approve of the way he pushes himself, but he’s learnt not to say anything about it. Any attempt at non-work-related conversation is met with a grunt or, if it’s particularly unproductive, a glare.

That’s why instead of making a joke at how shit Ryan looks (even though he _doesn’t,_ despite being utterly exhausted), Shane sets down Ryan’s coffee and plonks himself at his desk. And no, he does _not_ look over to check up on his friend every two seconds.

At least, that’s what he insists on at lunch when Sara smirks and asks why he’s so invested in Ryan today. She laughs and says something about _making a move already,_ but Ryan’s entered the room and Shane’s attention gravitates to him automatically.

He smiles at him. Ryan barely smiles back, which is a sure-fire way to dampen his mood.

Once Ryan returns to his desk with a freshly made coffee, Sara gives him a pitying look.

“Stop pouting,” she tells him, lightly hitting his arm. “He’ll be back to his old self in no time.”

Logically, Shane knows she’s right. Usually, Ryan’s only in one of his “moods” for a few days. (That’s ignoring the Jack the Ripper case – that one was a few _weeks_ of Ryan ignoring him. As much as Shane loves that episode, it was fucking _hell._ )

However, he isn’t that logical when it comes to Ryan, outside of debating ghosts. (Do you know how expensive it is to buy coffee in LA? Let alone _two_ every weekday for the past two years.)

So maybe that’s why Shane is still pouting when Sara pats his shoulder sympathetically and leaves. Or maybe it’s because Ryan ignoring him causes somewhere deep inside his chest to ache from its gaping emptiness.

The most frustrating thing about Ryan’s work-obsessed state is that he barely pays any attention to Shane. Granted, the man has his own life, but _still._ The second most frustrating thing is how everyone asks why he’s pouting.

Everyone but a certain Ryan Bergara, anyway.

Shane eventually decides to ignore him and he tries to actually get some work done. It works, for the most part. He even enters what he likes to call _The Zone._ If it wasn’t for his phone going off with a text, he probably wouldn’t have realised it’s time to go home.

He sighs at the digital clock on his screen as the time changes to 5:00 p.m. He rolls his chair backwards, stretches his arms above his head and he groans as he hears the satisfying popping and clicking sound.

Shane takes his time in packing up. He double-checks that his documents are saved before closing them, he checks his emails and he even closes every window before turning his laptop off. At 5:06 p.m. it becomes clear that he’s running out of excuses to hover close to Ryan.

Speaking of Ryan… He glances over at him and shakes his head fondly when he sees the tiny man is still hunched over his desk.

Somehow, he looks even smaller than usual, all curled up like that. Almost like… like a kitten. A small, black-furred kitten. Probably the kind that jumps at nothing – no, scratch that, definitely the kind that jumps at nothing. He’d be a kitten that everyone loves and adores but when people’s backs are turned he’ll knock fragile objects off of really high shelves, but then uses the classic Puss-In-Boots look so no one can get annoyed at him.

“Are you alright, Shane?” Ryan asks, brown eyes staring right back into his.

Shane blinks and looks back down at the time. _5:09 p.m._ Three minutes have gone by and all he’s done is imagine Ryan as a dumb kitten. Now that’s just pathetic, even for Shane.

“Yeah, just thinking,” he mumbles in reply, scratching at his stubble.

“About what?” Ryan presses, and of course, _now_ he pays attention to him.

“About…” Shane flits his eyes around the room, but can’t find any inspiration for a believable lie.

Maybe he could pretend to be possessed. Although, knowing Ryan, that would go a little _too_ well and he’d find himself at Father Thomas’ church getting an exorcism. So, like the coward he is, he changes the subject.

“Hey, do you want to come over to watch a movie tonight?”

Ryan squints at him, but takes the sudden question in stride. “Sure,” he shrugs, before packing everything away.

The ache in Shane’s chest eases a fraction as he watches Ryan’s methodical movements. The fact that he’s getting Ryan to leave his desk fills him with such pride that even when Ryan tells him his change of subject was glaringly obvious, he doesn’t stop smiling.

Soon Shane’s piling into the passenger seat of Ryan’s car and he makes a big show about putting the chair back so he can fit all his limbs. Ryan just tells him to go fuck himself as he starts the car, and Shane bites back a retort. Ryan Bergara is many things, and one of those things is a person who will make you walk if you piss him off enough.

Shane settles back against the chair as the car starts moving. He turns to face Ryan, who is concentrated on the road in front of him, so forgive Shane if he takes the opportunity to memorise the way the late afternoon glow makes Ryan look so… soft.

Yeah, okay, Shane will admit, he’s got it _bad._ (That just makes the ache swell tenfold though, because his feelings are gargantuan like the rest of him, and he fears that Ryan won’t be able to love him the same way.)

“Don’t think I’ve forgotten,” Ryan speaks up, and Shane thinks he’s been caught until he realises Ryan’s still staring straight ahead.

“Forgotten what?”

“That you wouldn’t tell me what you were thinking about!” Ryan smiles, and Shane knows this is about to get dirty. “Unless you were thinking about your many, many kinks, in which case I’m glad you kept it to yourself.”

“Now, if you keep talking about my sex life someone might think you want to take me for a whirl, Bergara.” He grins as Ryan flushes and splutters.

“Shut up, Shane,” he mutters, and Shane chuckles.

Ryan talks about some crazy thing BuzzFeed wants him to do for a video and Shane nods along, trying to ignore the way the ache throbs as a painful reminder. Ryan is everything he can’t have. Shane’s okay with that, for the most part. (He watches Ryan laugh at some stupid joke he made and he isn’t. He isn’t okay with it at all.)

Ryan pulls up outside of Shane’s apartment block and they both leave the car. It’s cold enough that Shane gets away with walking so close to Ryan their shoulders touch and their hands brush. Well, they touch until Ryan puts his in his pocket.

Shane tries not to look hurt as he fumbles for his keys and opens his door for Ryan. He steps aside and says, “Midgets first.”

This earns him a glare and a “fuck you”, but Ryan enters first anyways and pulls off his shoes, putting them neatly by the door. Shane is overwhelmed by the desire to smile his _I’m-in-love_ smile at Ryan. He doesn’t, though, because Ryan is not in love with him.

 (There’s the ache again. Shane’s almost floored by the intensity. How does Ryan make him feel so hollow and so filled with joy at the same time?)

Shane puts some popcorn in the microwave before leading Ryan to the living room and setting up the movie. By the time he returns to the room with pillows and blankets for the both of them, the popcorn’s ready.

“I swear you have a sixth sense for popcorn,” Ryan comments, grabbing a blanket and wrapping himself in it.

Shane laughs as he goes to the kitchen. “I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: a life without popcorn is a life not worth living.”

Ryan wheezes, and soon enough Shane returns with the bowl of popcorn, sits next to Ryan on the couch and presses play on _The Heat._

Halfway through, Ryan turns to Shane. “You know, I’m definitely Shannon.”

“And why is that?”

“Because she carries the whole team! She also stands up for what she believes in and ends up being _right_ about her methods. It reminds me of my spirit box that you find so much fun in insulting!” Ryan’s gesturing wildly and Shane wants to kiss him.

“You’re right.” Ryan looks triumphant at the words until Shane opens his mouth to continue, which makes him groan. “I find insulting that little toy of yours to be _very_ fun. However, you’re not Shannon because of whatever bullshit you just pulled out of your ass. You’re her because you’re short.”

Ryan sits upright and moves his body so it’s facing him. “ _I’m_ _average height!”_ He insists, his voice higher than normal.

“Really, little guy?” Shane quirks an eyebrow at him.

“Fuck you.”

Shane grins, but before he can say anything else, Ryan cuts him off. “Don’t say what I _know_ you’re going to say and I won’t chuck popcorn down your shirt.”

Shane doesn’t say anything. Ryan puts the popcorn he’s holding into his mouth.

Because it’s a Friday night and because they’re both adults who can make their own decisions, they find themselves watching another movie once _The Heat_ is over. And another. And another.

Somehow they find themselves giggling at 3:00 a.m. as _Paddington 2_ plays in the background.

“It’s 3’oclock, Ryan! The demons are going to come knocking!” Shane claims, a little too loudly. For some reason, the early morning hours bring out drunk Shane without a drop of alcohol.

“Shut up, Shane,” Ryan replies, eyes wide but he’s laughing too.

“Or what? The ghosts will hear me? I will not be silenced! Come out, come out wherever you are, ghosties!”

“You’re an ass.”

“Yeah, but listen.” Shane beckons Ryan closer with his finger as if he’s about to tell him a secret. His voice drops to a whisper. “You know, if ghosts were real I wouldn’t let them touch you! You’re my best friend and you’re like…” Shane screws up his face. “You’re like… a good person! Me? Not so much. I’d probably throw myself to the demons so they could feast on me as you run away!” He giggles as he says this, but when he looks up, Ryan’s no longer smiling.

“I think you’re a good person,” he says quietly.

Shane probably shouldn’t laugh at that either. However, Shane’s very good at doing things he shouldn’t. “Yeah, and I think you’re _tall!”_

“Can you shut your mouth for one second and listen to me?” Ryan sounds genuinely frustrated, so Shane does. “You- you mean a lot to me. You may be obnoxiously tall and are probably a murderer, but you’re a good person- wait, that doesn’t make sense. Whatever. What I’m trying to say is, you shouldn’t say those things. I don’t know what I’d do without you, Shane. I mean it.”

Shane doesn’t respond for a while. When he does, he says, “You mean more to me than you’ll ever know.”

They look each other in the eyes. A moment passes. Then Ryan reaches up to pull Shane’s neck down so he can kiss him.

Shane kisses back, his hand reaching up to cup his face. Ryan’s warmth and proximity forces Shane’s ache down, down, _down_ until he can barely feel it.

Eventually, he’s smiling too much to kiss at all, so he pulls back. Ryan beams up at him and he wants to kiss him again. So he does. This time it’s softer and slower and Shane’s love for Ryan grows exponentially, but the ache doesn’t grow with it.

Instead, as Ryan shifts so he’s lying on Shane’s chest, fingers intertwined with his, the ache is soothed entirely. For the first time in a while, Shane can breathe again.

In the movie in front of them, Paddington is reunited with the Browns family. It turns out they haven’t forgotten him after all.

**Author's Note:**

> this was my first BFU fic so i'm sorry if it was bad. anyways, if you liked it you should,,, leave a comment,,,
> 
> my tumblr is @shanemagej


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